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>Not My Cup Of Whatever They Drink In Sweden

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Nothin’ seems to change/Bad times stay the same/And I can’t run/Sometimes I feel/Sometimes I feel/Like I’ve been tied/To the whipping post/Tied to the whipping post/Tied to the whipping post/Good Lord, I feel like I’m dyin’…

-Allman Brothers-

I’m not getting on well with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I’m really bored. I don’t like the writing style. It is taking way too long to get off the ground. I’m 215 pages in, so I think I’ve been patient but I’m not being rewarded for my patience.

If this were any other book, I’d abandon it. I’d break up with it via text message. I’m curious to know what became of Harriet Vanger, but every bookworm has her limits. As it is, I feel duty-bound to finish since I’m the one who suggested it for BOOKLEAVES. How was I to know? I was so sure that reading a Swedish novel would be so cool and so hot.

The movie is getting great reviews. I’m sure I’d enjoy it tremendously because the filmmakers have already cut the sludge and bloat and waded hip-deep to retrieve the good story that I know must be in here SOMEWHERE! Hello? (hearing echoes) Hello!

From reading the blurb on the back cover, I know that Blomkvist and Salander are eventually going to meet up and work on solving the mysterious case of Harriet Vanger. I like Salander better, but so far, she’s only in the book for brief pages at a time. Every time one of her sections ends I let out an obscenity because I know I’m going to have another long and interminable stretch with Blomkvist, who has had a rather interesting life, but it’s detailed so blandly. No, blandly is not the right word. Blandly would feel like red-hot excitement right about now. Is it Larsson’s writing or the translation? I wish I knew.

If I hope to finish this book before 1 pm on Sunday, I’ve got to pull out the big bookworm guns. It’s time to get interactive. Although I really hate doing this, I’ve gotten out my pen and started writing in the margins, having a conversation with the novel. I’m making predictions, educated guesses, rants, rude comments and anything else I can think of to muscle on through and not resort to skimming. Plus, it keeps me awake. This novel has been like a healthy dose of sleeping potion. My poisoned apple. The spindle on the spinning wheel in my attic…well, you get the idea.

Here’s hoping that my struggle and effort pays off. Here’s hoping that things pick up and get really cliffhanger-ish and I end up loving this book so much that I quit Korea and move to Sweden.

I’m bummed that when I’m finished with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, no one else will ever be able to comfortably read my copy. Unless the next reader feels like I do.

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